The one after Monica sings
by Foxie5221
Summary: Set after The one where Monica sings. Joey makes a well meaning attempt to employ his best friend.


Ah marital bliss. Monica stretched out beside her husband and gave a contented, shuddering sigh. This was a rare treat and it hadn't even been meant to happen. The restaurant had called that morning telling her she didn't need to be in until the dinner sitting and, as she was ovulating, that meant only one thing- sex at two in the afternoon.

Knock, knock

"I'll get it" she murmured in Chandler's ear and slipped out of bed. Aware of what image she would present if she answered the door in her dressing gown, she got dressed and went to the door.

"Hi, I'm here for my appointment." There was a, far too stunning, woman standing in her doorway.

"What?"

"With," she took a scrap of paper out of her bra "Chandler at 2:15"

Oh my god! Her husband had ordered a stripper! That was the most sick thing ever! And he'd thought she wasn't going to be in! He was so busted…

"Chandler…" she stopped short as she realised she didn't know his middle name. Huh, they'd been married over a year and she didn't know his middle name. That was a long time; he must be hiding it from her. Oh well she could make do with what she had.

"Chandler M Bing get in here now!"

A very confused husband emerged from the bedroom.

"Huh, he doesn't practice what he preaches" the woman remarked.

"What?" They both said incredulously.

"Ok, ok, ok who are you?" Chandler was wearing the expression he wore when Joey tried to impress him with his geography knowledge, the "hand on the face, pinching his nose" one.

"I'm Roxanne." The woman supplied.

"And what do I practice?"

"Beauty"

"Excuse me, he has a wife missy!" Monica stepped forward.

"Why does that matter?"

"Why are you here?" Chandler protested.

"Just to have you do my eyebrows"

"Oh,"Realisation slowly dawned on Chandler and he strode through the hall and proceeded to attack Joey's door.

"Joseph Francis Tribbiani open this door right now or I swear you will be even more dead than you already are and that is pretty dead."

That was it, she had to learn his middle name.

Three days earlier 

"Ok that's great, yep tilt your head, little pout, smooth your hair and I think we're done." The photographer put her camera down and started to pack up.

"We'll get the headshots to you by Thursday."

"Oh great thanks." Joey replied

"Oh before you go, I was just wondering where you got your eyebrows done, I mean the right one could be better but your left looks amazing."

"Oh thanks."

"Hey do you think your beautician could do mine?"

"Huh, oh yeah sure,"

"Where's she based?"

"Oh it's a guy. This is the address, just drop in any time." Chandler was unemployed after all, he'd probably welcome the work.

Present

"Why did you tell this woman that I did your eyebrows?" Chandler was fuming.

"You did Joey's eyebrows?" Monica said.

"And my lashes?"

"Why would you? What?" Chandler spluttered. "Can you not even leave me a shred of masculinity and/or pride?"

"Well I thought, I mean you're out of work so maybe you needed some extra cash y'know."

"One: I don't. Two: If I did need some money this is not how I'd get it.

"Oh, Sorry buddy, just thought I'd be helping you out." Joey looked hopefully at his indignant friend with wide eyes and a slight pout. As expected, Chandler caved.

"I know. I'm sorry I yelled at you but please don't try and employ me again. Ever."

"Hug?" Joey opened his arms. Chandler barely had time to agree before he was crushed and slapped in an embrace that was uniquely Joey.

Later 

"I can't believe you did Joey's eyebrows." Chandler and Monica were back in bed together, with her snuggled contentedly in his arms.

"I can't believe you're so pleased about it."

"Can you do mine?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. You did a really good job."

"Oh. Thanks." He wasn't exactly sure how to reply.

"Just one question though."

"Mm"

"Why?"

"A casting person or someone like that told him he should have his eyebrows plucked but it hurt so much he could only bear to have one done. He looked mental so I did the other one for him."

"And the eyelashes?"

"I thought I'd messed it up so I curled them to distract from my terrible plucking job."

"You should have more confidence; they looked professionally done."

"Seriously?"

"Stop asking me that. Just because you make a joke out of every situation doesn't mean everyone else does."

"And there's the insult."

"Night Chandler."

"Night Mon."


End file.
